Trigger Page 18

  “I can’t even imagine losing your parents, let alone something as awful as that.” I was frustrated I couldn’t say more to comfort him.

  Chase was thoughtful. “After that, I was an easy target for Aerial to approach and draw me in.”

  “Why is that?”

  “I suddenly lacked a defining purpose.”

  “How so?”

  “For my entire life, I had known what I wanted and who I was. After my parents died, I was drifting until Aerial came along and gave me direction. They provided me with goals, training, and showed me how I could take action. With the company, I believed that I could make a difference, and not just in a small way, because Aerial functions on a global level. I couldn’t fix what happened to my parents, but I could do something.”

  “It sounds like, in a strange way, they were there when you needed them,” I said.

  “I honestly don’t know what would have happened if I hadn’t gotten involved with Aerial. I was so angry and frustrated that I probably would have ended up doing something really stupid and violent.”

  “Like what you do now doesn’t involve violence?” The words slipped out before I could stop them.

  “Most of what I do doesn’t involve bloodshed, but when it does, it is very calculated and controlled.” He didn’t sound defensive or like he was trying to sell me this as the truth; he was being candid.

  “So what could have been worse?”

  “For a while I walked around with a huge chip on my shoulder. If anyone started anything with me, I was more than happy to finish it. I’d taken some martial arts training when I was younger, so I took that up again. That helped me vent some of my emotions physically, but it also got me into a more aggressive mindset. There were a couple of times, especially early on at Oxford, where I would be out with friends at a pub and someone would want to start something with me. Things would escalate to a physical altercation that could have become really ugly if I had allowed it to.”

  “Allowed it?”

  “Even when I am under extreme mental or physical duress, I can separate those feelings and maintain precise control. This has saved my life more than once. In this business, you have to be able to think and act clearly, no matter what is happening or what you are feeling.”

  “So you are saying that you have good self-control?” That didn’t sound unique, but he was talking about it as though it was.

  “It goes beyond standard self-control. My mentor at Aerial taught me that it’s called segmentation. In a sense, I split my mind into different parts that are completely separate from each other. In one section is all the anger, pain, fear, and other emotions that can cause irrational thoughts or actions. This is segregated from the rest of my mind so that it can’t adversely affect me. When I create this segment, I have better control over my mind and my body. My goal, and how to achieve it, are part of another segment, one that is completely mapped out and precise. With segmentation, I’m able to focus completely, and to a higher degree, on my mission. Human beings are very emotional creatures. It’s part of what sets us apart from the animal kingdom. It’s also a weakness, because emotions directly affect your ability to process information and your self-control. I know it sounds easy, but if you think about a time when you were extremely afraid, mad, or in pain, it was undoubtedly very hard to maintain control of your thoughts and your actions.

  “This sounds a lot like emotional compartmentalization. I believe most people can do that.” I mentally thanked Professor Postlewait, my freshman psychology professor, for that tidbit.

  “If you consider compartmentalization the entry level, then segmentation is the grand master level. Think about what a compartment means: separate sections that are still attached, like a shared wall in a condo. They are still connected, and if a wall is breached, you can combine the compartments. A segment is a piece of something that is divided and split away from the whole. There can be no breach of the dividing wall with segmentation. It’s much stronger than compartmentalization. If you can segment your fear, your doubt, any emotion, then it cannot affect you.”

  The way he described it made it sound beyond intense.

  Chase continued explaining, “Most people can compartmentalize. Some can even segment their mind to varying degrees, but everyone has a breaking point. A place where the partition weakens and they can’t keep themselves in check. Once they hit that point, they’re much less effective in what they’re attempting to do.”

  “Is this something like a pain threshold where once they hit it, they begin to disintegrate? I have read that with interrogations there is a point where a person can no longer sustain, so they give up. After that, they will do anything or say anything that they are told to do.”

  “It is very similar. Some people have a low threshold or ability to compartmentalize or segment. Once they reach their limit, the barrier is gone and the emotions are in control. They no longer have the discipline or thought process that it takes to function at a high performance level. They revert back to their most basic human self. Think of a person in a “blind rage” breaking things, someone so upset they can’t stop crying, or in so much agony they give a false confession to make the pain stop.”

  I mulled this over as he continued.

  “Everyone has an emotional response to a stressful situation. It is the level of control people can maintain before, during and after that varies dramatically. When you can act independently of your emotions, regardless of the situation, you have successfully segmented into a state where you can function at a higher level. It doesn’t have to be a life or death situation either. Think of an Olympic final or other world-level athletic event; those are extreme pressure situations where athletes need to be able to compartmentalize, if not segment. Imagine being in the most intense situation of your life, yet you are able to function with better mental and physical control than at any other time. You would be unbeatable at what you were trying to accomplish. When a talented person segments, they have that type of control. This makes them the very best at what they do.”

  Initially it seemed simplistic, but I was beginning to grasp the magnitude of it.

  “I take it you have a fairly developed ability for segmentation?”

  “Yes, but it isn’t something that can just be developed. It is something that is innate, and then through training can be increased and refined.”

  “How good is yours?”

  “Everyone who has ever worked for the company has been tested for their ability to segment. Every single one has had a toleration point where they lose the ability to maintain the segmentation.”

  There was a heavy pause as I waited for him to say whatever it was he didn’t want to say.

  “They’ve found that toleration point in everyone but me.” His words were barely audible.

  “So that makes you…” I trailed off.

  “It makes me very good in my line of work,” he said with no trace of pride or joy.

  I was quiet for a moment, because it was a lot to take in. When you considered everything he had said, it made him both awe-inspiring and terrifying.

  “When did Aerial come into the picture exactly?”

  “I was spotted when I was in England on that high school exchange. Since I was American, spoke several languages, and had actually lived abroad for extended periods, I was a very appealing recruit. I found out later that they kept tabs on me when I returned to the States. They watched the whole drama with the death of my parents unfold. During my first term of school at Oxford, they approached me.”

  “Did they come up to you in some dark alley one night and ask if you wanted to be a super spy or something?”

  He shot me a condescending look. “No. The operative who made the initial contact posed as a student in one of my classes. As we got to be friends, he gradually introduced me to the company and what he did for it. He was my first mentor. By the time I graduated, I was an operative going out on assignments. First, I would go with my mentor and then on my own.
After a few years, the roles were reversed. I was sent by Aerial to make contact with Max while he was at university. He was spotted by a recruiter, and it was me who brought him into the fold as his mentor. I work with him from time to time, although mainly I work on my own, which I prefer.”

  “The whole lone wolf thing suits you.”

  “It’s one of the reasons I have succeeded in my field. In this business, if you rely on the wrong person and they screw up, it doesn’t matter how good you are, because in the end you’re still dead.”

  “Can you really not trust anyone in your own company? I would think the recruiting and training process would weed out anyone who may betray you.”

  “It isn’t just about the possibility of someone turning on you, it’s also whether or not you can count on them to complete their task as they should, when they should because your life can depend on it. It’s always safer to only trust yourself. When I work with someone, I have a backup plan so even if they fail, I don’t,” he said.

  “That seems prudent.”

  “Thank you,” he seemed amused.

  “How did this mentor of yours bring it up? Did he become your friend and then say, ‘Hey you want to come join this secretive company I happen to work for?’”

  “Not quite. As friends do, we often discussed things we were interested in. He started talking about how he was working for a company that he thought I would do well working for.”

  “Didn’t you think he was totally nuts when he told you all about Aerial?”

  “What he told me made me want to know more. He talked about how he was recruited, and even let me know that I had been spotted by one of their scouts. That was probably the hardest part for me, knowing that I had been watched. The fact that people had been observing me, especially the whole thing with my parents, really upset me. I went after my mentor physically. He handled me easily enough, and actually could have really hurt me if he had wanted to. Afterward, I didn’t talk to him for days. When I finally got over feeling that my privacy had been violated, I found it rather flattering on some level. After all, I had captured the eye of someone who was out there looking for gifted individuals. Plus, I was annoyed he had been able to take me down so easily, which made me very interested in the training he had received.”

  “Just the idea of people watching me is really weird. I don’t like it.”

  Chase continued his story. “My mentor, Peter, was smart. He let me cool down before he tried to talk to me again. I realized that what he was a part of was on a whole other level than most people can ever imagine. If I joined them, I didn’t have to be aimless or helpless. I could make things happen with an immediate and profound impact. So I went back to Peter and told him I wanted to know more.” He paused to sip more water.

  “Then what?” I was impatient.

  “Peter explained how I would have to undergo some physical and psychological testing to see if I could actually make it at Aerial. Those tests also helped them identify my particular strengths and weaknesses, which allowed them to modify my individual training program so it would be the most effective. While everyone at the company is talented, the levels and the areas of expertise can be very different.”

  When I didn’t say anything, he did.

  “Aren’t you going to ask me what my area of expertise is?”

  I knew the answer but couldn’t make myself say it because my lips wouldn’t move, and my throat felt swollen. I wanted him to know that I knew, and that it didn’t make me hate him. I wanted to say it out loud. Once I said it, there would be no more secrets between us. With painful slowness, the words clawed their way out of my throat.

  “You’re an assassin.” The words came out whisper-soft but also crystal clear.

  He didn’t flinch. “I am an implementation specialist, which means I am the one on the ground physically active in a mission. Most of the time it involves things such as gathering data, extraction, or standard surveillance. Sometimes, the assignment involves taking out targets.”

  Now that it was all out in the open, it felt like a thousand-pound weight was lifted from my shoulders. Chase was eyeing me warily, as if he was worried I was going to go berserk.

  My gaze was unwavering as I looked up at him. Meanwhile, in the deepest recesses of my mind, something lurked just beneath the surface. Something I couldn’t quite isolate.

  “Does it bother you that I am a predator?”

  “No,” I told him.

  He burst into laughter that had a razor-sharp edge to it. “Most people would have freaked out, and you claim it doesn’t bother you! You are either unique or you are truly mad.”

  “I’m not saying it would be my first career choice for anyone, but we already went over this.” I looked at him earnestly.

  “Helping you doesn’t negate the things I have done.”

  “You helped Anna, too,” I reminded him. “Tell me about your intentions when you carried out your objectives. Were you trying to do something good?”

  He didn’t hesitate before answering. “My overall intent was to bring about change for the better by committing a necessary evil. The ends do not always justify the means, but they often make a stellar argument.”

  “You just made my point for me. If you could avert the pain and suffering of thousands by taking out some mad homicidal dictator, I don’t think that’s wrong.”

  “While I agree that taking out a homicidal maniac is more than justifiable, in the end it’s still killing someone.”

  “In Monterosso my intent was to kill those men to protect us, and I did kill one of them. I don’t regret it. It had to be done at the time to achieve what I considered more important, so in the end, I’m just like you.”

  “You were acting in self-defense and in defense of another. I have killed because it is my job. At the time, I thought that by doing my job I was making an important difference in the world.” He sounded thoughtful.

  “What else makes it possible for someone to be a good implementation specialist?” I asked.

  “In order to really succeed at something, you have to give yourself over to the goal. You can’t let anything stand in your way, not even yourself. When you choose to make something happen, you commit to it on every level, and you have the resolve to succeed no matter the cost. The right combination of will and determination, in the right person, is unstoppable.”

  With that last potent remark, the two of us lapsed into silence. Chase shut his eyes and appeared to be taking a nap. I gazed out the window at the Spanish countryside with all of the things we had discussed swirling around one singular thought in my mind.

  What was this man truly capable of?

  CHAPTER 12

  A SUDDEN BURST of static followed by a scratchy male voice speaking rapid Spanish over an intercom made me jump. The name of the main train station in Barcelona, Barcelona Sants, was decipherable twice, which meant we would be arriving soon.

  “We are just a little ways out,” Chase offered from his seat across the way as he stretched his arms and legs in front of him.

  I pawed through my bag until I found a pack of gum.

  “Let’s go over it again,” he said.

  “Walk with a purpose, keep my head up and my eyes straight ahead, don’t make eye contact, and don’t do anything to attract attention.”

  “Most importantly, don’t get separated from me.” He was firm.

  “Understood.” I didn’t want to even think about losing sight of him.

  “We are going to get off the train, stay with the crowd, and walk right out the exit. From there, we are going to get a taxi and disappear.”

  The train was slowing down as the view out my window transitioned from countryside to city. Minutes later, the train came to a stop in a huge terminal. I slung my pack on my back as the train lurched to a halt. Chase led the way down the cramped hallway toward an exit. In short order, he was on the platform and I was hopping down to join him. Once I hit the ground, he took off, keeping me slightly behind him
. To anyone looking directly at him from the front or one side, I would be mostly obscured from sight.

  Familiar with the terminal, Chase confidently zigzagged through the crowd toward the central part of the station. This was the main hub for transportation in all of Barcelona, and it looked it. There were masses of people everywhere, making it easier to blend in. However, I knew that the crowds would also make it more difficult to spot people who may be after us.

  Chase kept us moving quickly. From what I could tell, no one seemed to pay any attention to us. I wanted to relax once we hit the main area of the station, but with the adrenaline pumping in my veins that wasn’t going to be possible.

  “On the left.” Chase’s voice was low but clear.

  Without moving my head, I flicked my eyes to my left. There were a couple of policemen standing nearby. Looking bored, they didn’t even shoot a glance in our direction. I casually tilted my face away from them anyway.

  Bypassing a large group of American tourists by the main entrance, I saw a girl in a sunny yellow top. She was surrounded by what appeared to be her parents and two siblings, and she was grimacing as she turned away from the mother, who seemed to be chiding her. She only looked a few years younger than me. For an instant, our eyes met. I almost envied her for that split second. Not so very long ago, my life had been that simple, that average. I knew it would never be that way again. A few quick steps took us through the main doors, and the girl in yellow was gone.

  “Taxis are to the left,” Chase shot over his shoulder.

  It was bright outside, making me squint. Chase hailed a cab and we hopped in. He gave instructions in Spanish before the door was even closed. Whatever he said must have been motivating because the driver shot away from the curb.