Trigger Page 17

  “It’s not that you’re trouble in the sense that you are thinking. It is that I’m in uncharted territory here,” he said.

  “You are making zero sense right now.”

  “It will be hard for you to understand since you have no concept of the way that I live. I travel in a shadow world where nothing is what it seems and I can’t trust anyone. I’ve spent a lot of time dealing with some of the lowest forms of human life on the planet. Living like that begins to get to you after a while. You try to stay detached, keep focused on the overall goal, but it’s… hard.” He emphasized the last word, giving me a glimpse of the depth of the adversity he had experienced. His eyes were glazed over with memories that seemed to haunt him.

  “How long have you been doing this?” I asked.

  “Seven years.”

  The length of time stunned me. “How old are you?”

  “Twenty-five.” His voice was flat.

  “You have been doing this since you were eighteen?” I was staggered that he had started so young and been doing this for so long.

  “Sometimes it feels like longer.” His smile was humorless. “This type of job consumes you. It consumes everything. Train, get an assignment, carry it out, and then train more until you get the next mission. Over time, life, the world itself, loses its color and fades into the background. Everything was either a target, an asset, or irrelevant. Wherever I was, whatever I was doing, whomever I was with, I knew that at any point I could walk away and never look back. Nothing has been real to me for a long time.”

  “So what changed?”

  “You.”

  Speechless, I stared back at him.

  “My dad used to tell me that the secret to being happy was to live the life you love and to love the one you live it with. I never understood what he meant until that day at Versailles. I hadn’t seen anything as…pure as you, ever. That was the first day that I felt something real in a very long time.”

  Words continued to elude me.

  “Max was following you up until that point. I took over the surveillance at Versailles. I was in the bushes watching you and Anna in the fountain. Something inside me woke up that day. I knew that I, that nothing, would be the same.”

  In the middle of this messed-up situation, we had found something that was potentially amazing. Now all we had to do was survive to see where it would take us.

  A grimace flashed across his face and his expression darkened.

  “What’s the matter?” I asked.

  “I shouldn’t be dragging you into this.” His tone was disgusted. “There’s a heavy price to pay for this life. I accepted that in the beginning when nothing really mattered. I don’t want you to be part of that payment, or to have to pay that price yourself someday.”

  The last part really confused me. “I’m pretty sure I’m already involved in this, and not because of you. You weren’t the one who sent kidnap squads or whatever they are after me.”

  “But I’m taking you from the fringes to the darkest heart of it.”

  “You saved my life. No, you are saving my life.” Since he was still actively working toward that goal, I thought it was an important distinction to make.

  “That doesn’t negate the things that I’ve done or that I’m capable of. It also doesn’t mean that you need to become caught up in it all.”

  “How can I avoid it? Look, I’m not saying that the ends always justify the means, but I know you’re a good person.” I didn’t flinch from his searching look.

  “You can’t know that.”

  “I know enough,” I said with certainty.

  He shook his head in a mix of denial and hopelessness.

  Crossing the rail car to sit by him, I placed my hand on his chest. The rhythmic thump-thump-thump of his heartbeat was steady and soothing. Just like the look in his eyes, which did not waiver from mine. Holding his gaze, I spoke in a clear, strong voice.

  “What matters is what is happening now, here, with us.”

  He didn’t say anything; he just nodded once. I knew this issue wasn’t fully resolved, and wouldn’t be on this train ride, but I had made my point for now.

  “Maybe we should talk about what’s going to happen when we get to Barcelona,” I said, moving back to my side of the compartment.

  “The station should be fairly busy since it’s the main terminal in the city and we arrive in the middle of the morning. We need to find an internet café where I can check my email to see how we’re going to meet up with Niko,” he explained.

  “You don’t think people will be waiting for us? Maybe we should jump off the train before it reaches the station?”

  “I don’t think that will be necessary. They can’t be sure that Barcelona is our destination,” he said.

  “How could they not know when the two guys who were checking the train to Barcelona from Nice turn up dead?” Even if they weren’t criminal masterminds, I didn’t see how they couldn’t put those clues together.

  “Since they didn’t know where we were heading when we left Monterosso, they must have been covering stations other than Nice. They could be following multiple leads.”

  He was right. Perhaps I was just being a pessimist.

  “I do think we should move forward under the assumption that they know we’re on our way to Barcelona and that they’ll be waiting for us there,” he added.

  Maybe we were both pessimists.

  “We need to try to blend in with a group of people as we make our way outside. I’ll be keeping an eye out for anyone who may be watching for us or following us. We’ll get a cab that will take us to a crowded place, like Las Ramblas,” Chase said.

  “Las Ramblas, the pedestrian mall in the middle of the city?” I had read a blurb on it in the travel book.

  “Yes,” he said.

  He didn’t react to the fact that I had heard of it, which was a relief. I still wasn’t doing a good job keeping my dirty little secret hidden, but I blamed that on how comfortable I felt with him.

  “Las Ramblas runs from a huge plaza in the center of the city called Placa Catalunya down to Port Vell by the sea. There are cafes, market stalls, street performers; it is frequented by both tourists and locals, so there are always people around. There are also many exits points,” he explained.

  “What do I do if we get separated?” I didn’t want to think about that possibility, but I had to be realistic.

  “We don’t get separated. Whatever happens, you stay with me. We still have a ways to go, so try to relax.”

  Trying to heed his advice, I kept an eye on the horizon, waiting for sunrise.

  “We need to be ready for a conductor to come check our tickets and passports,” Chase said after a while.

  “Have you ever been to Barcelona?” I asked. “I haven’t, but it’s on my list of places to see. I’ve heard it is a beautiful city. A friend of Anna’s raved about the Gaudi architecture and his park.”

  “Barcelona is incredible. The buildings by Gaudi are particularly stunning, especially La Sagrada Familia. I doubt anyone will ever design anything like it again. The park you are referring to is named Park Guell. It’s amazing. You’d like it,” he said.

  I purposely didn’t tell him that I knew what the name of the park was. He wouldn’t miss two things like that so close together. “What happens once we find a crowded location?”

  “We meet with Niko and find out what he knows. That information will probably take us elsewhere. It’s a pity we’ll have to leave because there are some remarkable things to see in Barcelona. I guess I’ll just have to bring you back someday.” He smiled.

  This pleased me, both because he was talking about the future as though we would survive this ordeal, and that we would be together. “Can I get that in writing?” I was playful.

  “You have my word.”

  I knew his word was more ironclad than anything in writing.

  “When were you in Barcelona?” I asked.

  “I’ve actually been here a couple t
imes, for training and on holiday.”

  “You trained here?” I was startled. I would have thought they would train in some top secret hidden compound.

  “Part of the training is to become familiar with major cities, which are often staging points for operations for a variety of reasons.”

  This made sense, although I did find myself wondering if he had ever been here on holiday with someone. I couldn’t bring myself to ask.

  “What do we do once we make contact with Niko?” I asked, forcing the other thoughts from my mind

  “By now he should have left a message telling us what to do,” Chase replied.

  “Yeah, I got that part. What I mean is, what is he likely to tell us to do? Do we meet in some dark parking garage or at a bus station? Will we be met by some strange men, blindfolded and taken to him?” My mind was leaping to different possibilities at a furious pace.

  Chase rolled his eyes at my theories. “Mostly likely, he’ll arrange a quiet meeting using vague references only I would know.”

  “Sort of like a scavenger hunt?”

  “If you want to reduce it to that, yes.”

  “Tell me more.”

  “I won’t know more until we actually receive the instructions,” was his patient response.

  “What about using your computer to check your email?”

  “My company can locate me through the computer. If I turn it on again, then they can pinpoint our location. Until I figure out what exactly is going on here, I don’t want anyone to know where we are.”

  “You used it in Nice.”

  “We were there for a very brief period of time. Plus, it was a transitory location. If they pinpoint that we are on this train, they can figure out what our destination is.

  “Same thing with your phone?”

  He nodded.

  I found what he said unsettling. “Do you think someone in your company would betray you?”

  “To be honest, I’m not sure. The only person I would probably trust with my life from the company is Max, and even him I don’t trust completely.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I wouldn’t trust him with your life.”

  His comment triggered a glowing ball of warmth inside me that spread till my whole body tingled. Even with that wonderful feeling, I was troubled by the implication that his company could turn on him.

  “Why would someone from your own company betray you?”

  He didn’t need to consider his answer. “Someone within the organization could be bought or blackmailed by a rival company,” he hesitated, “or there could be more to this within my own company than I know about.”

  It was obvious the last option really bothered him.

  “I thought they just wanted to know why Mirkos was after me.”

  “In my business, I’ve learned that no one ever knows the whole story and that anything is possible. When I was sent to follow you, Aerial had no idea why you were so valuable to that other company. At least that is what they told me.” The look on his face was uneasy. “Aerial never does anything halfway, so I know that they continued to gather intel on why you are so important. If they were successful, then their objectives may have changed.”

  “Changed to what?”

  “It could be anything. The safest thing to do is to find out what it is about you that is important without giving up our location. If anyone knows where we are, people could come after us. If I make contact, they may issue a new directive to me. When I fail to follow it, they will classify me as a rogue operative.”

  “Which means?”

  “That I am disavowed, no longer an asset and no longer trustworthy.”

  “Is that so bad?”

  “Depends on the level of rogue classification they give me, which can be anywhere from, ‘forget about them they are worthless’ to ‘kill on sight’.”

  I shuddered. “Whatever happens, I’m glad you’re with me.”

  “I told you before that I’m not a hero.”

  “What other guy would go up against so much to help a girl like me?”

  “I think you would be surprised.”

  “How so?” I wasn’t fishing for compliments. I actually wondered what he was talking about.

  “You’re rather compelling.”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “I’m sure there are a number of men who would do just about anything to help you. Your Guardia friend Marcello would be at the top of the list.”

  The look on his face wasn’t envy, it was acceptance, as though what he was saying was not debatable.

  “You don’t know that.” I tried to brush him off again.

  “He has already proven it,” Chase countered. “He followed you to the Cinque Terre. When he heard about the incident by the beach, he was the first one there. He was the first on the scene at the train station and saw you running for the train. Yet, specific information about your involvement with the shootings in Monterosso didn’t get out very quickly or didn’t get revealed at all.”

  “I think you’re deeply deluded,” I said. Anyone could see that Marcello liked me. I had a tougher time believing that he would jeopardize his job because of me.

  “I’ve seen the way he looks at you. I think he’s convinced himself that you need to be rescued, and that he’s going to swoop in and save you. Plus, I personally know the impact you can have on a guy.”

  Footsteps in the hallway silenced any further conversation. I tensed in alarm as they stopped outside our door.

  “We are crossing into Spain so they are checking tickets and passports.” He was reaching for his bag as he spoke.

  Disturbing questions shot through my mind as I reached for my bag. What if the conductor was on the lookout for us? What if it wasn’t a real conductor? I focused on breathing normally.

  Chase must have been having similar thoughts because he checked his gun before returning it to a pocket where it was readily accessible. The door slid open with some force and the curtain was yanked aside.

  “Billetes y pasaportes, por favor,” a squat man in a conductor uniform said in an authoritative voice.

  The conductor was approximately five feet five inches tall and looked like a kindly grandfather. Chase handed over his papers, barely looking at the man. I forced a smile as I handed him my documents. He gave them a cursory glance, stamped them both, and then moved on.

  “Well, that is a relief.”

  “Yeah, it is.” Chase had a funny look on his face.

  “Everything ok?”

  He paused for a moment then looked at me. “Did that seem strange to you at all?”

  “Strange how?” I was on edge. If he was nervous, then perhaps I should be too.

  “Something just felt off with that,” he shrugged, but continued to watch the doorway.

  “Do you want to do something about it?” I also kept an eye on the door, waiting for the conductor to return with a weapon or a contingent of law enforcement agents.

  “No, there isn’t much that we can do at the moment.”

  “Right,” I replied.

  A few minutes passed before he began to settle down a little.

  “How did you get recruited?”

  “Are you really interested?”

  “I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t.”

  “It’s really not that remarkable.” The response was reflexive.

  “Come on, I really want to know.”

  “I grew up living overseas. My dad worked for an oil company, so I lived in the Netherlands from the time I was six years old until I was ten. Then we moved to Dubai for two years before moving back to the United States where I went to high school. My mom loved traveling, so every summer we went on an extended trip some place different. When I was in high school, I actually went on a short exchange to the UK. I really liked England, and that trip convinced me to go to university there.” He paused to take a drink of water.

  “With the moving around, it must’ve been tough to make friends and get thr
ough school,” I said.

  “I always played sports and was involved with different activities, so I made friends fairly easily wherever I was. Living overseas was amazing. My mom was so adventurous and energetic that she made being in those other countries really wonderful. She made sure I absorbed a lot about the different cultures I was living in. To be immersed like that at such a young age also helped me learn several languages. It was like I was getting two educations growing up; a standard curriculum from the schools I attended, and one about the world and all it had to offer. It was a pretty extraordinary childhood.” He was smiling as he reminisced.

  “Your mom sounds spectacular, what about your dad?”

  “My dad was also an incredible individual. His parents immigrated to the States from the Netherlands when he was just a kid. He spoke fluent Dutch along with several other languages. He had a couple of master’s degrees and a PhD. He ended up being the CFO of the corporation he worked for and was very successful. He was also a great person. Even though he worked a lot, he always made time to be a dad. He’s the one who helped teach me every sport, so no matter where I was I could play with the local kids. He was good at everything he did. I idolized him.” Caught up in his memories, his voice had become gruff.

  “You keep talking about them in the past tense. Did something happen to them?” I asked tentatively.

  “They’re dead,” he said flatly.

  I wasn’t sure if I should continue on the subject or not. He spoke before I made up my mind.

  “They were killed in a car accident when I was a senior in high school. It was another reason I wanted to go to school abroad. I needed to get away, far away. To go where nothing would remind me about what had happened.”

  “I’m so sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say.

  “They were such fantastic people, and they were so happy in their life together. Losing them shattered my world. They were killed by a drunk driver. He was a repeat offender who had injured other people. He kept getting away with slaps on the wrist and entering treatment centers, but that didn’t stop him. My parents paid for his stupidity, and the flaws in the legal system, with their lives.” The bitterness and anger in his voice was palpable.

  He took a couple deep breaths. “When he walked away from the manslaughter charges because of a technicality, all I wanted to do was rip him apart with my bare hands. I’ve never felt so helpless in my life. It was so wrong, and I couldn’t do anything to make it right. I was completely powerless and I hated it. Moving away for university helped, but it didn’t fix it. For a while, I wasn’t sure what to do with my life. All I knew is that I wanted to be able to do something to help make things better. I wanted to make it so that no one had to go through what I went through.”